Man Story

Oh my God.  She's so hot.  She's a librarian, but the nerdy thing is so cool.  I'm twenty-two and I've finally found love.  The guys don't know though.  I would never hear the end of it if they found out that me, an unemotional hot shot biker dude, has a crush on the local librarian.  Her name is Marge.  Johnny and Marge, sounds pretty good, doesn't it?  The problem is, she doesn't like "trouble makers", and me having tattoos up and down my arms with a Harley, yeah, I should just get a tat on my forehead that says "trouble". 

I'm going to finally ask her out.  Here I go.  "Hey babe, you wanna go out?"  She's turning around and... Oh My God!  I asked out the wrong librarian!  I forgot, the old librarian works on Tuesdays, today is Tuesday!  I just asked out a grandma!  How did I not notice the gray hair?  I need to get out of here.  

Why wont the ******* door open?!  Okay, here we go, in the parking lot, I'm good now. WORST DAY EVER!  I'm gonna get a beer.  

I love this bar. 
Great, the only open seat is next to some chick.  "Can I sit here?"

"Yeah."

It's her!  Okay, okay, act cool. What should I say?  Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?  No, no time for a pick up line.  It's now or never.

"Aren't you the librarian?"

"Just 'cause I'm a librarian doesn't mean I don't drink."

"I'm cool with that.  Hey bartender, two beers please."

"I'm astounded.  You actually have manners."

"Just 'cause I'm a biker doesn't mean I don't say please."

She just smiled.  I made her smile.  Okay, I can do this.  For the second time today, I'm going to ask out a librarian.

"Wanna go out with me?"


"Umm, I'm married."

****!  Are you serious?  I asked out a ******* grandma for nothing?!  This is bull ****!  What the **** is up with me having bad luck?!  This day ******* sucks!